Hx: Aussie was diagnosed with a nodule/lump/tumor/thing in his lung last august. We monitored it via radiographs every month or two. Last month I was told "It appears to be shrinking, so it's probably not cancer as cancer doesn't shrink."

Today: My grandma called me to say that Aussie had just had a seizure. I'm in the car and throw a mental temper tantrum at my dog. I race over and look at him. Disoriented. Circling. Weak in his hind limbs. Unequal pupil size... to the e-clinic with us! Grandma says that he stumbled a bit the previous evening. In the car he does this bizzare noise... a sort of *cough**cough**grrraaaugh* and I am forced to go "Holy shit, that is NOT a good sound." So... we arrive, and vet takes a look. Aussie has slow pupil reaction to light, and is lacking proprioception in his right legs almost completely, and is having issues with the hind left too. Not goods. And thus... Dr tells us that with a 13 year old dog... it isn't epilepsy. It's probably either a stroke... or a brain tumor. And she was leaning brain tumor.

Being a nervous wreck of a doggy mommy I leave him at the e-clinic for observation over night. I go back to grandma's and she decides to then inform me that he'd been making that horrendous sound for several *days* (honestly sounded like he was going to vommit up a lung) and that the weakness in the hind legs had been apparent for several days as well. Self rule-out stroke. Add in terrible lung noises... I think that lump in him *was* lung cancer, and it metastisized in a way that didn't show up on the rads and then spread into his brain.

Fuck.

I'm giving him 3 days to potentially recover some proper cognitive function, but I'm not hopeful. Even 4 hrs after his seizure he wasn't recognising his own name. He'd look at you... and it was so easy to see that my dog wasn't in there.

So yeah... odds are that in a couple days, I hafta euthanise him. I've had this dog since I was 11. For over half my lifespan. He slept on my bed for years. He's my baby.

I'm going to miss him so much.